From Pain to Freedom
I recently caught up with a dear friend to follow up on a goal we had discussed. With her permission, I can share that she had previously confessed something that was bringing her incredible shame. Together, we had come up with a plan to address it, which included reaching out to someone equipped to help her navigate the trauma at the root of that shame.
When I called a couple of weeks later, I learned she had started the process but ultimately backed out.
As we talked, she was honest about her fear. She realized she’d gotten so used to living with shame for years that whenever it rears its head, her automatic reflex is to push away. But she also knows it’s been controlling how she sees herself. The amazing news is that by the end of our chat, she recommitted to getting support. This time, I truly believe she’s going to do it.
I deeply understand the urge to run from the things we know we must face to find freedom. I remember doing the exact same thing in my relationship with my dad. In my book, Caring for the Child Within, I reflected on this difficult journey:
"Going into my past was like deciding to go on an adventure without knowing where I was going. The only thing that was certain was that this adventure would bring many bitter moments. I didn’t expect any happy moments to come from this. To me, my past equaled hurt and pain so I knew my chances of experiencing joy during this process were slim. I was afraid of what I would find on the road, but it was becoming clear that I needed more than practical solutions if I was going to put these attacks behind me..." (Pg. 61)
"As we began to process my story, my therapist asked me, 'What will happen if your father never asks you for forgiveness for all the trauma he put you through?' Her question triggered something in me that I could not explain at the time, but I reasoned that she lacked faith. Becoming a disciple of Christ had given me hope and faith that people can change. I used that belief as an excuse to become critical of my therapist instead of answering her question..." (Pg. 70)
I wanted to heal, but when the work got hard, I did what I was used to doing: I ran. Looking back, I realized I was trying to heal in "emotional sprints." I’d get a sudden burst of energy, go for it, and then slam on the brakes. What God was trying to tell me was, “Hey, this is a marathon.” Because I couldn't see the big picture, I was running the wrong race.
Fear kept me back. Subconsciously, I didn't think I was built for the long haul. We all say things like, "I just can't go there," but the truth is, we are built for it.
I am so grateful that I eventually found the courage to run the long, painful race, which allowed me to heal many deep wounds. I love that I can now use my own experience as a bridge to help others get on the right track for them moving away from pain and fear, and stepping into freedom.
I look forward to my friend starting her own race. It might be a longer marathon than she wants it to be, but she’s ready to claim her victory. And I know she’ll end up being a beacon of hope for others, proving that even the longest marathons do come to an end.
Remember:Sprints are great for some issues, but others require a marathon. Give yourself permission to run both. You are strong enough for it, even when you feel like you aren't.
This is exactly why I am such a passionate advocate for professional help when needed. Some marathons simply require a trained guide to walk alongside you. I love seeing the breakthroughs my own clients share with me; each one acts like an energy drink, giving them the stamina to stay in the race.
I will love to connect with you if you are interested in knowing more about my Christian Coaching Program for Women! https://www.oliviahudsonlifecoach.com/contact-me