Focus on the data.

On our getaway in Mexico I decided to encourage my husband and go snorkeling with him. I finally got to a point that I believed the life vest will keep me a float. I learned to swim in my thirties in order to enjoy time with my kids in the pool but have not practiced ever since so the fear is back. It’s a great example of use it or lose it. I trust my husband so hearing him say the vest will keep you afloat helped me. I also intellectually knew this to be true but emotionally, my believe in that was -0. In a coaching program I went through I taught to trust the data more than the drama in my head so I did that.
The woman that was taking up tied a floating ring around her that I held to and pulled me into the ocean. After a while the beauty of seeing the turtles surpassed my fears. As we continued I saw fishes, a stingray… I think we had been in the ocean moving forward for a while and I peeked back. That was not a smart idea. I immediately said to the guide, “I am good I am ready to go back.” Fear quickly set back in. I panicked. She said, we only have about 4 min to the coral. I heard her and kept forward. Her in front and my husband by my side. We finally reached the coral and it was pretty. I can say I didn’t enjoy it as much because part of me were thinking about wanting to head back to shore. As we made our way back I began to relax, so much so that I realized the woman had been pulling me the whole time I should help her. So I started kicking my feet just as I did in swim class. It felt good to contribute to her hard work.

When it was all done and I looked into the ocean I could not believe that my body was so far from the shore and into the ocean. The life vest held me. The guide did her job. I was so filled with joy and looking forward to doing it again but this time feeling more secure mentally and emotionally.

The next morning as I sat at the beach I thought about Peter and how when he saw the winds and the waves freaked out. I could now understand that passage a little better. It so easy to become distracted by the fear than by what’s true.

For me what was true, I will not drown but the fear of drowning took some of the joy of the experience away.
I wish I could say now I can jump into any ocean and pool feeling confident as long as I have a life vest on but that will be a lie. I will still need to tap into the data instead of focusing on the drama in my head. The thing that will be different is that now I have added more data to work through the fear faster.

I am glad I listened to the data and decided to try. it was an experience I am grateful I was able to have.

“But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.” Matthew 14:27 NIV