Thought of the day #16

“Buy as it is”, that is what is said at a time when someone is selling an item and will not be making any repairs or be responsible for any damages encountered after the purchase. You then buy the item and make your own repairs, changes, updates. That makes sense to me. The thing is sadly we apply that mentality to relationships. People enter our lives and we agree to “buy as its”, but then eventually we realize we don’t like something and begin to treat the person like an item or a project causing frustration in the relationship. 

I remember in the early stages of my marriage from my perspective a lot of “repair” that needed to be done in Cory, it was a very frustrating time. He felt disrespected and like he wasn’t able to fill my needs. 

As we got help from people who clearly had accepted their spouse completely I learned something. My husband is not a project to be fixed to my liking, he was not put on earth to be my genie in a bottle. He was here to love and support me and in the process he will make mistakes. Once I accepted Cory as he was I began to move from a selfish love that only was happy if he did whatever I wanted, to a caring love that was grateful for what he was already doing. I began to partner with him in creating the marriage with both wanted. 

I am grateful that I continue to love people in my life that I care deeply about, “as it” I don’t have to fix them. 

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22